Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Holy Axe!!
I have teenage boys.
Anyone who enters my apartment would know that, at least for the brief seconds they remained living, since they would start dying soon after their first breath.
It's like some form of chemical warfare.
The Axe Effect.
You can't see the cloud of noxious fumes... but it's there. When you first smell it, you might think it's nice... and certainly better than the B.O. that is normally associated with teenage boys. But then your eyes start to water, and start to sort of melt.
The next symptom is burning nostrils. The Axe scent permeates every hair in your nose.
Soon your lungs actually start screaming in agony from the pollution.
Then most people start having seizures and a full meltdown like that dude in Raiders of the Lost Ark.
I've become immune to it.
Teenage boys are immune to it, too. And, they just don't seem to understand that less is more. That it's not sexy to be able to smell you from across the freakin' mall.
When will they learn? The entire population of teenage girls will be dead and melty before they stop the Axe devestation.
Thursday, April 24, 2008
6 random things tag...
I got tagged for the 6 random things tag thing by Micgar. I'm sure there are certain rules, but I break the rules. I hate tagging people (although I don't mind being tagged).
Anyway, onward to randomness!
1. It's raining today. One of the things I really love about rainy days is seeing worms. I know, it's weird, I have no idea why I like them. My mom even tells me that when I was in Kindergarten I would be late to school all the time because I would count the worms and play with them on the way.
2. There is a Culver's restaurant practically in my backyard. They change the specials on the sign outside everyday, and it cracks me UP! There are 3 lines, and the first line is usually an ice cream flavor, the second line is a dinner special, and the 3rd line varies... but I always like to read it all together so it sounds something like this... "Strawberry Shortcake BBQ Pork Iced Coffee". Fridays are the BEST when it involves fish!!!
3. I may have bitten off more than I can chew with the cat adoption fair. The current "Tame Cat Adoption Coordinator" is moving away, and I said I might be interested in the position. She said she was hoping I would be... yikes. Am I crazy??? Yes.
4. Tuesday night I made sloppy joes for dinner. They were yummy!
5. I don't know what I'm going to have for dinner tonight.
6. Sometimes I think I really am getting old, because my teenage kids irritate the living hell out of me*, I can hardly stand their music, and I'm constantly asking them to turn it down. And, if I hear my son Shane's ringtone one more time I might throw his phone into a puddle.
Anyway, onward to randomness!
1. It's raining today. One of the things I really love about rainy days is seeing worms. I know, it's weird, I have no idea why I like them. My mom even tells me that when I was in Kindergarten I would be late to school all the time because I would count the worms and play with them on the way.
2. There is a Culver's restaurant practically in my backyard. They change the specials on the sign outside everyday, and it cracks me UP! There are 3 lines, and the first line is usually an ice cream flavor, the second line is a dinner special, and the 3rd line varies... but I always like to read it all together so it sounds something like this... "Strawberry Shortcake BBQ Pork Iced Coffee". Fridays are the BEST when it involves fish!!!
3. I may have bitten off more than I can chew with the cat adoption fair. The current "Tame Cat Adoption Coordinator" is moving away, and I said I might be interested in the position. She said she was hoping I would be... yikes. Am I crazy??? Yes.
4. Tuesday night I made sloppy joes for dinner. They were yummy!
5. I don't know what I'm going to have for dinner tonight.
6. Sometimes I think I really am getting old, because my teenage kids irritate the living hell out of me*, I can hardly stand their music, and I'm constantly asking them to turn it down. And, if I hear my son Shane's ringtone one more time I might throw his phone into a puddle.
*but, of course I love them dearly
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
H3
Hey H3 owners!
When I see an H3 do you know what I think?
I think that you not only must have a small penis, but also a small checkbook since you can't even buy a full size Hummer to make up for the small penis thing.
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Complaints from a Fat Girl...
Dear Lane Bryant-
I hate you and love you at the same time. It's fucking impossible for me to find pants that actually fit me anywhere else (apparently no one likes to make pants for short girls over a certain size...grrr). So, thanks for carrying my pant size.
And, I really feel special when you send me coupons in the mail!
But, then I walk into your store with my super-secret club coupon, and see signs up all over the damn place about a store-wide sale so I don't even need the goddamn coupon! Save a tree, people!
Then, the coupon is fucking worthless because of all the fine print. You can literally buy 1 certain top and a particular pair of earrings, and I'd have to buy 7 of these tops and 15 pairs of these earrings in order for the damn coupon to even be effective.
Oh... AND you have this retarded new way of sizing and measuring your jeans. I found a pair that fit GREAT, but saying they are a size "3" does not make me a size 3. I know full well I'm still a size __ (like I'm really gonna post that).
Anyway, I just wanted you to know that.
XOXO,
Amy (a valued customer)
I hate you and love you at the same time. It's fucking impossible for me to find pants that actually fit me anywhere else (apparently no one likes to make pants for short girls over a certain size...grrr). So, thanks for carrying my pant size.
And, I really feel special when you send me coupons in the mail!
But, then I walk into your store with my super-secret club coupon, and see signs up all over the damn place about a store-wide sale so I don't even need the goddamn coupon! Save a tree, people!
Then, the coupon is fucking worthless because of all the fine print. You can literally buy 1 certain top and a particular pair of earrings, and I'd have to buy 7 of these tops and 15 pairs of these earrings in order for the damn coupon to even be effective.
Oh... AND you have this retarded new way of sizing and measuring your jeans. I found a pair that fit GREAT, but saying they are a size "3" does not make me a size 3. I know full well I'm still a size __ (like I'm really gonna post that).
Anyway, I just wanted you to know that.
XOXO,
Amy (a valued customer)
Monday, April 21, 2008
Rodeo!!!
Friday night I went to a rodeo with a friend of mine.
I'm no stranger to rodeos. The "Pikes Peak or Bust Rodeo" came to Colorado Springs every summer for a week. It started off with a big parade and pancake street breakfast... and a LOT of the businesses would have "rodeo week", where all the employees would dress up western (bank tellers, wait-staff, etc). I LOVED the rodeo. So I was very excited to go the other night!
It was "tough enough to wear pink" night. All the cowboys wore pink shirts to support breast cancer research. Maybe they looked a little gay, but there was still a lot of eye candy for me!!
Not only were there cute cowboys, but it was just a lot of fun. Complete with a crazy bull that decided to lay down, a bullrider getting knocked out (he was okay), and a bucking bronco that just refused (3 times!!!) to leave the gate!
The rodeo was part of the Midwestern Horse Fair that comes here every year I guess. My friend Angie's mom has some land and owns some horses, and they were scoping out some mustangs that were up for auction. They went home empty handed, though. While we were walking around the barns looking at horses, we saw some that were ENORMOUS. They really scared me. They were big, and midnight black, and had long black manes that hung in front of their face. My friends daughter said it reminded her of "The Grudge". I don't remember the name of the breed... I'm such a good blogger.
OOh! I just looked it up on Wikipedia. It's the Friesian horse.
SCARY.
I'm no stranger to rodeos. The "Pikes Peak or Bust Rodeo" came to Colorado Springs every summer for a week. It started off with a big parade and pancake street breakfast... and a LOT of the businesses would have "rodeo week", where all the employees would dress up western (bank tellers, wait-staff, etc). I LOVED the rodeo. So I was very excited to go the other night!
It was "tough enough to wear pink" night. All the cowboys wore pink shirts to support breast cancer research. Maybe they looked a little gay, but there was still a lot of eye candy for me!!
Not only were there cute cowboys, but it was just a lot of fun. Complete with a crazy bull that decided to lay down, a bullrider getting knocked out (he was okay), and a bucking bronco that just refused (3 times!!!) to leave the gate!
The rodeo was part of the Midwestern Horse Fair that comes here every year I guess. My friend Angie's mom has some land and owns some horses, and they were scoping out some mustangs that were up for auction. They went home empty handed, though. While we were walking around the barns looking at horses, we saw some that were ENORMOUS. They really scared me. They were big, and midnight black, and had long black manes that hung in front of their face. My friends daughter said it reminded her of "The Grudge". I don't remember the name of the breed... I'm such a good blogger.
OOh! I just looked it up on Wikipedia. It's the Friesian horse.
SCARY.
Saturday, April 19, 2008
So, here I am back at Blogger. I hope you have all followed me.
I thought I would be able to use Wordpress differently than I can. You may remember that I would change things around here on Blogger... my background or whatever... and I can't do that on Wordpress.
Or, at least, aside from picking from the premade templates, I don't understand how to. And I don't really feel like taking the time and precious brain cells that it would require to figure it out.
But, I really like being creative with backgrounds and such. And, Wordpress wouldn't even let me adjust font size or style or anything... pffftt.
So, welcome back again. Don't hate me because I moved again.
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