MISH MASH

This thing I'm doing...

2011-07-17T19:59:00.002-05:00

Remember before when I was all gung-ho about working out and losing weight and going to the gym and stuff?? Yeah... that kinda dwindled. Not sure why. Part of it could be that I got reacquainted with the best boyfriend ever (or BBFE as I lovingly text him). Not that he's not supportive of my efforts to lose weight. It's just much more fun to come home and chat with him on the computer than change clothes and go to the gym and sweat and work out. Also, just so ya know... we are doing the long distance thing.

Anyway. I still have a gym contract... and a personal trainer contract... so I might as well USE these expensive things!!

Starting tomorrow, I am doing my own self inflicted 30 day fitness challenge. I will go to the gym everyday for 30 days. The only days I WON'T go to the gym are when I am vacationing in Michigan, but then I can at least go for a walk or something fitness-y.

I know what you're thinking. "Yeah... right. Just like that time she said she would (fill in various blog promises here)."

But, I really need to do this. And... I think I will blog about it as much as I can. BEWARE OF BORING POSTS!

Facebook

2011-07-03T19:02:00.003-05:00

Whenever I log onto facebook, there is a spot to sign up, if you haven't already. It says:

Sign up
It's free and always will be

They forget to mention that it will cost you your soul. It may not cost you money... but it will suck away your life and you will never be the same again.

There should be some disclosure about that, Mr. Zuckerberg.

Sorry Sorry!!

2011-05-31T21:02:00.004-05:00

I'm doing it again! I'm not posting! Very bad Amy...

So, here is an awesome picture I took in the mall parking lot. I probably took it a year ago or something. I know I took it to show to my very special, wonderful blog readers.

I have no idea what is going on with this car. I GUESS it's a mannequin head. And hand. But who drives around with something like this in the back of their car for all to see? Somebody weird, that's who. THIS is just the stuff we can see.

Freak.

It was awful...

2011-04-30T23:15:00.002-05:00

I was standing in line at the store yesterday. I didn't steal anything this time...

There were two touchy feely lesbians in front of me. I know I'm a girl and all, but I can appreciate cute lesbians. These were NOT cute.

There was a motorized cart that someone just left, and the battery died. And it had the most annoying fucking alarm going off FOR-EVERRRRRR. No one tried to stop it. None of the store employees did anything about it.

THEN... some chick behind me started singing that Rebecca Black "Friday" song. I refuse to post a link to it. And, if you haven't heard it, consider yourself lucky. DO NOT go to youtube to find it. Don't do it. Don't.

Anyway, I really REALLY wanted to punch someone yesterday. Just because of that stuff. NO ONE should be subjected to such things.

Nausea Heartburn Indigestion Upset Stomach Diarrhea

2011-04-22T19:55:00.004-05:00

Today I had a half day at work. Some coworkers (Deb, Gina and Susan) and I went to lunch and then the plan was to go to Debs so she could cut and color Gina and Susan's hair.

After lunch we went to Walgreens to buy the color. My tummy wasn't feeling that great, so I decided I would pick up some Pepto while we were there.

I was in the aisle (aisle 8) looking at all the different pink boxes and bottles. Chewable, liquid, caplets, brand name or generic. I just wanted the cheapest. One of the managers came up to me and asked if I needed any help. "Um, no thanks" I said. "Oh, someone just called for some help in aisle 8, I thought it might be you" (I was actually the only person in aisle 8). "No, thanks, I don't need help picking out Pepto." And, I feel kinda sorry for anyone that does...

I picked a box of generic chewables and went to meet my friends in the hair color aisle. We spent a few minutes looking at this box and that box... and I told them my dumb little story about the manager.

We went up to the counter to pay for our items and left.

BUT I FORGOT TO PAY FOR THE PEPTO!!! I shoplifted the Pepto.

It was such a rush.

Ok... I lied

2011-04-18T20:56:00.003-05:00

I'm NOT going to run the 5k. My left knee seems to have a big problem with this idea. And, I'm poor and can't afford the registration fee.

BUT.. I'm still working out with my trainer and determined to lose weight and be healthy!

And, while I know this isn't super exciting news, it is a blog post. So... yeah.

3 things...

2011-04-10T18:37:00.004-05:00

The Susan G. Komen Race For The Cure. I'm going to participate in this. The company I work for has a team, so I'm going to register. In my mission to get healthy, I'm planning to run the 5k. RUN. THE WHOLE WAY. I'm pretty sure I can train for that and be ready by June 4th. And, you all will be cheering me on... at least on the internet, right?

I made this. It's Asparagus and White Bean Salad. I found the recipe on When Harry Met Salad. Megan is a fantastic blogger, writer and photographer (I ripped those pictures off of her blog... thanks Megan!). Her recipe is Asparagus and White Bean Bread Salad, and is adapted from Gourmet. I further adapted it and didn't use the bread. It was still delicious, and I plan to make this simple recipe many times, at least while asparagus is in season. Two thumbs up! Or 5 out of 5 stars! Or... whatever.

I'm reading this. The Bucolic Plague by Josh Kilmer-Purcell. Sorry for the smallish picture. Josh is one of The Fabulous Beekman Boys, and if you haven't seen their show on Planet Green, you don't know what you're missing. They are hilarious and sweet and... human. And, they are coming to Madison next weekend and I'm going to have them sign my book! They can't escape me.

I'm reading a lot these days, because I got rid of cable. And since I also don't have a digital converter box, I'm basically limited to Netflix and the internet (still able to watch the Beekman Boys!). But... I really don't mind not having cable. I'm sure saving a butt-load of money!!

Been a looooonnng time!

2011-04-09T14:15:00.002-05:00

This blog may take an ugly turn.

I'm working out now. At a gym. With a personal trainer. I've got about 70 lbs to lose.

I'm trying to eat healthier. And cook. And eat things like fruit. And vegetables. VEGETABLES.

I'm probably going to do things like shop at farmers markets. And, I've started some seeds and will even be trying to GROW my own vegetables.

So, yeah. There's that.

And, my kids. They are growing. One of them might be considered a man, since he's 18. He will be graduating and going to college.

The other one is 16. He's still kinda a tumbleweed blowing around trying to find a place to land.

So, I'll probably be writing about them, too. And all the fantastic things that happen as they try to spread their wings.

Oh. And if you didn't already know this... my credit sucks. So, I've got bills and budgets and things that I might blog about, too. Not too much of it, though, since THAT is even more embarrassing to me than the weight issue.

Like I said... ugly turn. I'll try not to let it become one of those blogs.

I just need to warn you all right now...

2010-12-26T13:08:00.003-06:00

My oldest son, Mike, will be 18 at the end of February. At the end of this school year, he will be graduating (at least I hope he will be).

This means that he will sort of be an adult. He can vote. He can live on his own... maybe.

I'm pretty convinced that he will die pretty quickly when living on his own. You see, he has had the ability to read since he was in kindergarten. However, when it comes to reading directions, he somehow loses this ability. Like, for cooking, for example. "Mom, how do you make this?" "Read the directions." "Mom, how long should this go in the microwave for?" "Read the directions."

He's going to leave my house and live on cereal on hot pockets and become host to a family of tapeworms I think. Then he'll go to the doctor, get some prescription, but still end up dying because he won't read the prescription directions.

I am a failure.

I don't know...

2010-12-20T19:16:00.002-06:00

I just felt like posting SOMETHING. So, here ya go.

*google image searched "something"

online dating...

2010-12-06T20:51:00.002-06:00

A dude... without a shirt on... holding up a fish he just caught.... contacted me.

Um... no.

THAT is the picture you choose for your profile??? For the first impression?? I mean, I know I'm in Wisconsin. I could maybe see a picture of you with your shirt off with the 30 point buck you just shot strapped to the back of your pickup... but not a fish. LAME.

*p.s. the pic I used is NOT the dude.

$#!t my son says....

2010-11-27T18:15:00.002-06:00

Today my son Mike and I were watching "A Boy Named Charlie Brown", or one of those other Charlie Brown movie things...

Charlie Brown and Linus were on their way to school. They passed by Lucy and 2 other chicks (I know one of them was Violet). Lucy ran up to Charlie Brown and sarcastically suggested he volunteer for the class Spelling Bee. So, he decided to do it. All 3 of the girls danced around Charlie Brown, singing about how he's a failure and going to make a fool of himself.

Mike: "Charlie Brown is going to bring a gun to school."

I laughed and laughed and laughed. And thought that the people who read my blog probably have the same sense of humor as me and would also appreciate that.

A conversation at work today

2010-11-10T20:01:00.004-06:00

Angie (my coworker), pointing to a plastic grocery bag on my desk- Why don't you take that bag and put it over your face?

Me- Fuck off

She's a good friend...

A post...

2010-11-02T17:24:00.001-05:00

For all you people who keep bugging me... here ya go.

However, this chick is super duper DUPER scatterbrained today, so... the rest of this post says nothing!

Maybe I'll be back in a few months with something totally awesome to say...

Mmmm... beer....

2010-04-23T19:13:00.002-05:00

I like beer. I like trying new beers. My go-to cheap beer is Miller Lite.

There are billboards around town advertising Miller Lite. And even on TV the commercials talk about how it is "Triple hops brewed for a great pilsner taste". What the hell does that even mean? Does your average beer drinker really know what "triple hops brewed" is?

Will your average beer drinker taste some other beer, like Bud Light, and turn their nose up and say "this crap is clearly only double hops brewed for mediocre pilsner taste"? Or gag and vomit at the mere thought of some beer that is only single hop brewed (would it be single hop or single hops? I bet it's hops. They are talking about the brewing, not the number of hops. I bet if they only used *a* hop that would probably not even qualify as beer. I at least know that much).

Anyway, I was just wondering...

Dear God

2010-04-21T01:11:00.002-05:00

... or whoever.

If you let me go to sleep now (it's freakin' 1 am on a Tues/Wed) I promise to never ever ever ever EVER drink any sort of coffee beverage after 3 pm ever ever ever again.

Amen

SPRING!!!

2010-04-06T18:05:00.002-05:00

It's raining... and lightning and thundering... and the trees are starting to get green... and I'm super retarded and excited that birds are coming to my bird feeders...

and this morning walking to my garage I saw WORMS!!

I don't know why I like worms so much. Birds and worms.

Do I need help? I mean about the bird and worm love... I know I need help on several other levels.

I think I'm gonna start posting again...

2010-04-03T15:39:00.000-05:00

I know... it's like a dream come true for all of you.

And by "all of you" I mean no one, because I'm sure no one even comes to check out this thing anymore.

How Lame am I?

2009-10-06T20:39:00.003-05:00

June TENTH was my last post??? I guess that is what happens when you start having an actual life, with friends, and family, and a super awesome boyfriend (yes, after about a year and a half "alone", I am now in an actual relationship).

Truth be told, there are times that I have little "I should totally put that on my blog" moments. I can't think of any right now, though.

The boys are doing pretty good. Mike is in football again, and loving it. Shane is staying out of trouble and happy hanging out with his friends.

Work is... a job I'm very happy to have. I haven't been moved in about a year now (amazing), although I did have some ergonomics chick come and show me how my desk, chair, keyboard should be, then a couple dudes (one with a bad eye) came and overhauled my work area. The desk is a little crooked (which I think may have something to do with bad eye dude), but I'm much happier now that everything is at the right height. Wow... interesting crap I have to write about, huh?

FACEBOOK. Ugh. Please find me on there. I'm wasting most of my time there now. I have at least 2 farms, an ocean, a flower thingy, a restaurant, a pet named Horatio, ... I don't know what else. It's fun, although I'm getting all arthritic and carpal tunnell-y because of it. Can I sue Facebook for that?

Need a pic? Here is what I found when I Google image searched "Lame". Enjoy. I'll try to blog more. And thanks, Blue Beak, for the b-day wishes!!

RIP

2009-06-10T18:00:00.004-05:00

At work today I got a small package of Teddy Grahams. Cinnamon Teddy Grahams.

Most of them were in tact and very scrumptious, and served their purpose for satisfying my snack attack.

But, I noticed these 3. These 3 poor little dismembered Cinnamon Teddy Grahams. I think there must have been a tiny little Cinnamon Teddy Graham minefield that they ran into somewhere.

And so, I put them out of their misery. They had a burial at mouth with full honors.

Dear guys on online dating sites...

2009-04-29T19:06:00.004-05:00

If you don't know the difference between "hole" and "whole", just don't bother contacting me because you don't have a chance in hell.

Sincerely,

Amy

I need a spirit guide...

2009-04-07T20:45:00.003-05:00

I was watching some movie about dog sled racing, like Iron Will or something. Iron Will had a Native American friend who pushed him and challenged him, and gave him nifty trinkets made from buffalo bones or something.

Lots of movies and tv shows have characters that have spirit guides. I want one of these. They could give me some necklace made of shells and a leather cord, and tell me things like my animal spirit guide is the tiger, or goose or something... they could help me find my way in this life.

He should also be part Tim Gunn. I love that dude.

Know what I really hate???

2009-03-30T20:49:00.002-05:00

That the 10 key pad and the numbers on the phone aren't the same.

That sucks.

I dial wrong numbers all day long.

Someone evil came up with this plan... Bastard.

In other news, I TOTALLY want that keyboard in the picture that I found while searching for a pic for this post. It would make my work day waaaaayyy funner.

No real reason for this post

2009-03-10T21:35:00.004-05:00

Except that the lady with the gold teeth is bothering me and is probably scaring people away from my blog.

So, here is a different picture of a St. Patricks Day chia pet thing. It's the best I could do.

By the way, I've added a linky thing to the side of my page to keep track of the "Where the hell is that card?" card. Or, at least let you know who has had it.

This is a real commercial

2009-02-24T12:43:00.002-06:00

I was awake in the middle of the night one night, and saw this...

Just.... wow.

Question

2009-02-16T11:18:00.001-06:00

What is the fascination, all of a sudden, with tiny burgers?

How the hell does this happen???

2009-01-27T21:15:00.003-06:00

My job requires me to process medical insurance claims. On an almost daily basis I run across claims for things you just don't think could really happen... or are just plain hilarious. I know, I'm mean.

Today someone submitted a claim for "accidentally ingesting hearing aid batteries".

A. Why would you have hearing aid batteries near your mouth in the first place?

B. HOW would you "accidentally" ingest them? Did they jump out of your hearing aid and into your soup?

Random facts about me...

2009-01-16T02:29:00.000-06:00

-It's currently 2:29 am on Friday morning, and I'm awake and blogging.

-I spoke with a woman in Maryland Thursday, and she was complaining because it was 31 degrees. I told her that was picnic weather, and it was about 60 degrees colder where I am, so put a fucking sock in it. (ok, maybe not the sock part)

-I should really clean my apartment.

-I wish I was sleeping right now.

-I haven't thrown up since New Years Eve.

-I'm having dinner at a friends house tonight. She has 3 kitty kats that are in love with me.

-That lame Garfield picture up there was the first one that came up when I image searched "sleep"

New Years Heave

2009-01-03T18:35:00.000-06:00

I rang in 2009 by vomitting 2008 all up in my friends car long before midnight.

She still loves me for some reason.

Dear Wisconsin

2008-12-23T16:51:00.001-06:00

***NEWSFLASH***

We live in Wisconsin. So, how about if you send out the fucking plows?

Just a suggestion, ya know, to make it less messy during RUSH HOUR???

Sincerely,

a Wisconsin citizen.

The Weather Channel

2008-12-15T17:22:00.000-06:00

It's -4 degrees outside... without the wind-chill factored in. So please, click here to see how to stay warm while you're golfing.

2008-12-08T20:20:00.000-06:00

Wow, I'm a push-over. All it takes is someone to tell me to post and I'll do it.

Since we last met, I must tell you that the wonderful organizations that the ASPCA have sent my information to have now sent me... gloves.

What.... the .... fuck?

How about if you stop sending people free gloves, and use the glove/postage money toward your organization? Just a thought (idiots).

Ummm... what else?

Still have the same job. Still have the same kids. Now have WORSE problems with the one kid.

I ate food at Thanksgiving.

The Packers are not doing well.

The Badgers are going to some lame bowl game.

I've done some Christmas shopping.

I got a good deal at 5 am on a printer/scanner at Best Buy on Black Friday. Now I can scan awesome pictures from my childhood and you will get to laugh your asses off (someday).

I bought a fish. He's a blue Betta. When I was picking out a fish, he looked at me and won over my heart. I named him Romeo. He's cool and he loves me... He does. Shut up.

Currently I'm waiting for this "wintery mix" I've been hearing so many horror stories about on the news. I'm planning on tomorrow being a snow day and staying home, so the weather people BETTER NOT disappoint.

I haven't been to Goodwill again since the sweater extravaganza. But my friend has decided she has too many shoes and purses, so I get to benefit from her "consolidating"!! Whoo-hoo!

I was sick and coughing and hacking for a couple of weeks, but I think the worst is over (and I probably just jinxed that).

In just 8 days I will have lived in Wisconsin for a year. What a year it has been!

Ok, that's all I've got.
I hope you're happy.

Inspiration is in the air.....

2008-11-21T17:26:00.000-06:00

Since Dr. Zibbs posted a link to my blog on his site, since I'm a runner up BFF (like THAT isn't depressing enough), I thought I better post something other than the depressing post below.

And here it is.

I bought 3 kick ass sweaters at Goodwill yesterday!!! For TWELVE BUCKS.

I bragged about this to no end to my friends and family. I'm sure they're sick of me talking about my damn sweaters.

But, it's getting cold here in Wisconsin (gonna be 10 whole degrees tonight), so I need me some sweaters.

And I got 3 for 12 bucks people. One is an LL Bean one. LL muthafuckin Bean. So, in real life this sweater would be 50 bajillion dollars.

Anyway... I did have to pass up a picture very similar to the one below. It was only $2.99, but I resisted.

Jen demanded it

2008-11-17T20:31:00.000-06:00

A new post.

That says absolutely nothing.

Truthfully, life has been better in Amy-land. Sure, I spend too much time on that damn facebook thing now... and I have had some fun with friends birthdays and Badger games downtown. But unfortunately for you and me I am lacking inspiration to blog.

I have little lightbulbs go off every now and then... but I'm one scatterbrained chick lately, so the light goes out pretty quickly (shocking, I know).

Work is going... fine. I'm glad to have a job. Eventually I will look for one I can feel better about, because this one is just monotonous (I really don't care if I spelled that correctly, or if I spelled correctly correctly), and I'm not using my degree or even my brain very much. But, right now I at least like the people I work with and the benefits are nice.

My love life is... wait... BwahahhaHAHAHAHAhahaHAHA... love life???? Ok, whew! That was funny. Actually, I really don't want or need a love life at the moment.

My kids ... without getting into it too much (because who wants to listen to some crazy lady sob) I never knew you could just keep on loving someone so much, even though they could break your heart over and over and over. But, I'm their mom and I will never stop loving them or believing in them. If you know any single moms, give them a big hug or something... this is NOT easy.

I had to cut back on my cat adoption fair duties. I was spreading myself way too thin. But, I still help out about once a month, and I have a very good friend who fosters kittens and also has 3 cats of her own, so I get my fix when I need to. I was hoping to be in another apartment very soon, and get a cat of my own... but it will have to wait until next year.

I'm sorry I haven't been a very good blogger, or even commenter. I'm still around here and there, and I'm sure I'll post more when it strikes me... I promise! You people make me laugh and bring me joy, and I need it now more than ever... THANK YOU!

I've been busy!

2008-10-27T19:30:00.000-05:00

And it hasn't been fun busy at all.

Let's just say it involves my kids, and it's a freakin' miracle I have a single hair left in my head.

But, since I like to consider myself a good mother, I'll not tell of all the stuff my kids (or one in particular really) have been putting me through.

Instead, I will list the things I have NOT been doing to keep busy.

1. See High School Musical 3

2. Bake a cake

3. Spend the millions I won from lottery scratch tickets

4. Watch the Brewers win the World Series

5. Learn an exciting new dance

6. Knit sweaters for the homeless

7. Visit Bora Bora

8. Stand in line for the new Google phone

9. Go to the spa for a mani/pedi massage facial day (but JESUS I could really use something like that)

10. Drag Racing

Important...

2008-10-13T14:40:00.000-05:00

I need you to know something.

It's very important.

I'm SURE you haven't heard this before, so let me be the first to tell you.

Time is running out.

On February 17, 2009 all full-power broadcast television stations in the United States will stop broadcasting on analog airwaves and begin broadcasting only in digital.

Now you are informed. I KNOW no one else has told you this... so you're welcome.

Moved my desk, again....

2008-10-09T21:23:00.000-05:00

So, a little over a month ago you may remember me bitching that I had to change desks at work. Today they made me do it again.

I keep getting moved farther back. Farther away from the front door. Farther away from the bathroom.

My desk now is bigger, which is nice... and is closer to the back door which is the door we use for fire evacuation procedures (which we practiced yesterday like we are 4th graders)... so those are pluses, I guess.

But, today I was wondering if they had plans to stop paying me and move me to the basement.

Can someone explain this??

2008-09-25T19:07:00.000-05:00

I mean... why?

Mrs. Miller...

2008-09-24T18:31:00.001-05:00

I just received (and accepted) a facebook friend request from Grant Miller. Some of you may know, and if you didn't you do now, that my last name is also Miller. Grant Miller did not. He said, "... Never realized you were a Miller also.."

However, I have a secret.... PROMISE you won't say anything? Pinky swear???

Ok..

I'm not really a Miller. I just pretend I am, because I have such a huge crush on a certain blogger....

I spend all my time at school daydreaming, and writing "Mrs. Miller" all over my Trapper Keeper. And you don't even want to see the inside of my locker... it's embarrassing.

Anyway... SHHHHHHHH, okay? I would, like, TOTALLY DIE if he ever found out!

Just thought you should know...

2008-09-23T16:51:00.000-05:00

I've never watched this show, but I'm pretty sure that I DO NOT want to work for Diddy.

I also don't want to work for Puff Daddy, Sean Combs, P Diddy, Puffy, or the artist formerly known as any of them.

Thank you.

However, I do at some point in my life want to have my picture taken with flames and/or explosions behind me while a fan blows my hair like I'm a super-model. Just so ya know.

Cheese Days!!!

2008-09-21T12:32:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I went to Green County Cheese Days. You'll never guess what they had there. Cheese as far as the eye could see. Any flavor, any texture, any aroma. I even attempted to eat a Limburger, Salami and Onion sandwich. I got a few bites down, but... eww.

Also there were many dairy items. Whodathunk. Here is a delicious cream puff that was served to me by the Dairy Queen (not the restaraunt). It was decadent!

Would there be cows at Cheese Days? Of course. Here are some cute baby ones... or calves if you prefer, but baby cows sounds cuter.

Cow art. Neato.

There was a milking contest. One boy was just yanking away... I felt sorry for the cow. Check out the crowd that this event drew! People in these parts like them some cow milking contests!

There was polka-ing and yodeling galore.

Me being a complete idiot. Moooo.

Ok... for REALS...

2008-09-17T16:50:00.001-05:00

There is this fly that seriously needs to die already. It has been buzzing around my apartment for like 3 days now. Don't they only live for... well, not 3 days? It buzzes by my ear... lands on my nose.

And don't just tell me to swat it and kill it (you know who you sarcastic people are), don't think I haven't tried. I just don't have the speed and coordination.

So, I just swear at it and swat at it. That helps. Fuckin' fly.

Where the hell is that Card???

2008-09-10T20:44:00.000-05:00

I sent Jen at Casual Slack the card she requested. She wants to send it to someone... and then I'm sure that person will want to send it.....

you get the idea.

Go HERE NOW to participate! It's only the most awesomest thing to happen, like, EVER people!!!

In case you missed that huge ass link up there...

where the hell is that card <---- click-a-rama.

Is it possible to suck any more???

2008-09-05T20:34:00.000-05:00

Probably not.

I haven't blogged in a while, if you couldn't tell. But let me tell you all the wonderful and exciting crap that has been happening in my life!

Um... lets see...

I started working for a different "contract" at work. Today I moved all my shit to a new desk, away from all the people I have come to know and love, and in a new area next to a lady who I have seen had wet her pants and a dude who ALWAYS has his hands in his pockets. Oh, and because I'm working a new contract, I got put back on audits to make sure I know what the hell I'm doing. It sucks seriously major ass. But, I have a new supervisor, and he seems pretty laid back and supportive. And, I volunteered for this, it isn't like it happened because I'm a horrible employee or something. No pay raise or anything, but whatever.

----------------------------------------------------------------

Last weekend I experienced my first bar-hopping Saturday after the Badger Game (didn't go to the game, just the bars).

TOTAL. INSANITY.

Beer, Brats and Badgers. I'm now officially living in Wisconsin. It was great! Lots and lots of RED. My friend and I kept joking, "have you seen so and so? They have a red shirt on...". We thought we were fucking hilarious.

----------------------------------------------------------------

Jen, I sent out the card and hope it has arrived and you are still basking in the glory of mail from me.

----------------------------------------------------------------

My kids started school THANK YOU JESUS.

Amy learns a lesson...

2008-08-19T20:46:00.000-05:00

I'm almost 35 fucking years old... you would actually think this is something I would have learned by now.

A few months ago when the whole cat drama happened, my emotions got the better of me and I decided to make a donation to the ASPCA.

I have since discovered that while the ASPCA may care a lot about animal welfare, they don't give a shit about the environment.

I get junk mail from organizations that they have no doubt sold my information to on an almost daily basis.

Today I received something from the IFAW, or the International Fund for Animal Welfare (yeah, I've never heard of them either). Included in the letter that was addressed "Dear Friend" were these TOTALLY AWESOME greeting cards. If you're lucky enough, I may just send one to YOU.

By the way, no one ever accused me of being a good photographer....

This one below is my favorite

If you want to get creative, make up your own "greeting" just for fun!!

Weiners...

2008-08-13T19:24:00.000-05:00

My co-worker Deb bought these for me.

Actually, she bought these and ones that look like baloney (or bologna, if you prefer), but my other co-worker, Angie, got first dibbs and decided I needed weiners more.

These things are made in China, so I won't be chewing them because I think I probably have enough lead in my system, thankyouverymuch.

I don't think you can make it out, but up in the right hand corner it says "FOR BEST QUALITY OPEN PACKAGE AND CHEW THEM ALL".

Also, there is a "seal" on it, saying it was "INSPECTED BY DEPT. OF BUBBLE GUM". I didn't even know there was a Dept. of Bubble Gum. I must get a job with them.

Desperately need your help...

2008-08-10T17:19:00.000-05:00

I've been trying to figure out what this movie is for weeks now.

You're all going to think I'm nuts, if you already don't.

I was talking to my friend about one of the scenes... and neither one of us can place the movie or any of the actors. I'm pretty sure it's a comedy.

The scene goes something like this:

There is a guy getting his hair cut. I think his friend is cutting his hair. The friend messes up, and the guy wants to see how his hair is (I don't know if he is aware of the mistake). The friend holds up the mirror to him and just passes it around his head quickly..."Look over here, and here, isn't it nice?". Doing it in a way that his friend can't see.... like behind his head and on the sides.

Anyone??? Any ideas?

I know, what a totally lame post.

Bathroom conversations...

2008-07-23T21:47:00.001-05:00

Today I went to Barnes and Noble again. And, I had to use the "facilities".

A lady walked in before me.

A crazy lady, apparently.

She just started talking to me like she knew me.

CL (crazy lady)- This stall doesn't have any seat covers.

Me- silence

CL- Maybe I just don't know how to use them

Me- looks like you have to pull down

CL- Maybe. The last person in here didn't flush. I would think that a woman would flush. I don't think men flush, but a woman should know better and should flush.

Me (as I'm sitting there doing my business)- uh-huh

CL- I was really disappointed at the bank today.

Me- silence

CL- yeah, I went into the bank and asked them for the number to the corporate office because I am a cleaning lady and I thought maybe I could clean for them...

Me- silence as I'm washing my hands

CL- and the manager of the bank said she didn't know the number to the corporate office. Don't you think the manager should know the number to the corporate office?

Me- I'm leaving now

Wow. I hope I never am so lonely or crazy that I just start STUPID conversations in the BATHROOM with random strangers!!!

A kitty filled weekend...

2008-07-21T18:22:00.001-05:00

Saturday we had our weekly adoption fair, and there were...

15 kittens!!!!!

Holy crapola. They were all so adorable! 3 of them got adopted, and then one of our adult cats got adopted, too.

Sunday we had the grand opening of our new shelter for the feral cats. Here is a newspaper article about it. The comments are... interesting. I never realized what a controversial thing this is.

As everyone stood around listening to speeches and thank you's before the ribbon cutting ceremony, I felt very proud to be a part of this organization. It's really come a long way, and I've only been involved for a few months. After the ribbon was cut, the woman who is responsible for most of the funding of this presented our President with another check for $12,000.00, which will help us to buy medical supplies. I'll admit, it made me well up a bit.

The shelter is beautiful, and it will be very interesting and exciting to see it working the way it should.

Anyway, just had to brag a little! Hope you all had a great weekend!

Something I've discovered...

2008-07-18T22:19:00.000-05:00

So, earlier tonight I was feeling... restless. My last post was all about that, actually. I just didn't know what to do with myself. Some girlfriends and I made plans to do a fish-fry and then just chill with some wine at one of their houses... and then that kinda fell through.

Before those plans were actually made, I had decided I was going to go to the mall, or more specifically Borders and Barnes and Noble. So, since the plans fell through I went ahead with my bookstore plans.

As soon as I walked into Borders, and took in the book/paper/Seattle's Best coffee smell all my troubles went away. All those icky, stupid girl feelings were lifted. I love you, Borders.

I just walked through all the aisles, looking at books I want, books I might want, picking some up and flipping through, reading the back... enjoying the feel of the smooth cover, and the rougher feel of the paper.

I like looking at the childrens books, too. Finding some of my favorites. I have a secret wish to read the Sweet Valley High books again, but I'm not gonna buy them. Gotta find them in a library. Oh, and look... the Little Engine that Could!! And the Mercer Mayer "Little Monster" books! And Golden Books The Pokey Little Puppy!! I loved it.

-------
And now for something completely different.
-------

The past few weeks I've had some interesting events that I've not shared with you.

I'm sharing now.

The weekend before July 4th was an event here in Madison called "Rhythm and Booms". Bands, music, crazy people and fireworks. I loved it. Here is a photo of me enjoying the shittiest expensive pizza I've ever eaten:

The 4th of July was spent with my family, and my cousin who had totally illegal fireworks that were LOUD. All the guys were outside most of the time being pyros, and us girls stayed in and watched the most ridiculous show I've ever seen in my life "Dancing Machine" on ABC. Just google it if you're that interested. Anyway, it was really a pretty fun day.

Last weekend was crazy busy. Friday night was my friend Heather's 30th birthday. She had a pretty tame barbeque at her house, and it was really a fun time. I met a couple girls there (Bridget and Erin) who invited me to Erin's Bachelorette Party the next day.

Saturday I did a "Betty Lou" cruise around Lake Monona. Here are some pics:

Last but not least was the Bachelorette Party, and here are some pics of that:

Heather and I (the new 30 year old)

Me and Tracy

The whole group

So there is an update. God bless you if you don't think I'm lame.

Problems... BIG Problems...

2008-07-18T18:07:00.000-05:00

Okay, not really... don't get excited.

One of my problems is that a few of my friends are planning trips and want me to go. Now, I would absolutely LOVE to go (one is a cruise in Jan/Feb... the other is a trip to Vegas this coming August), but this chick just does NOT have the funds for such a thing.

I've never been the type of person who just happens to have hundreds of dollars in an account to be able to jet to wherever on a moments notice. And, at the moment I'm pretty much living paycheck to paycheck, so "saving" for the cruise isn't really an option, either. Not to mention that I want to get the hell out of this apartment when my lease is up, and that will take some money (4.5 months left on the lease). So, I just need to keep my priorities straight. I think next year will be much comfier (is that a word? Like comfy... but comfy-er) for me, and perhaps I can do some fun travelling things like that. So, just chill, amigos.

The other problem. Often times being the single mom to teenage boys is .... boring. They are out and about, and I'm stuck at home. I do have friends, and have had quite a few interesting and fun nights, but then I hate it when everyone has plans and I don't. I just want more and more friends and more and more things to do. I've just been "mom" for so long, and now I'm more "Amy"... and it's nice. I need to get to the point where I feel comfortable all by myself, instead of restless and bored.

Super awesome crap

2008-07-08T18:45:00.000-05:00

Does anyone remember when Wheel of Fortune used to have people shop instead of just win money?

Like, they would win a certain amount of money, and then at the end of the round they could select items they wanted worth however much.

I seem to remember some of the luxurious prizes and fabulous merchendise being furniture, grills, pianos, grandfather clocks… Zenith console TV’s….

No one ever wanted the stuff that I did. I always wanted the stupid crap, like the life-size ceramic cheetah with gold claws… or the arcade games…

I wonder what they ever did with the crap that no one chose?

I still want it.

This post needs no title....

2008-07-07T18:26:00.000-05:00

..or words or anything.

Except the link, of course. Click here

Amy M. and guest...

2008-07-06T19:35:00.001-05:00

My oldest friend is getting married!

I've known Patty since we were 7 years old and in 2nd grade. She has finally kissed enough frogs and has found her prince, and they will be wed this summer. I received an invitation to their reception, since they will be getting married in a private ceremony in Jamaica (bitch).

So... my invitation says Amy M. and Guest. Who wants to be my date?

Oh. You will also have to buy me a ticket out to Colorado for sometime in September. And, you'll have to buy your own ticket, too.

Oh. And, my brother lives out there, so I totally have a place to crash, but you're on your own.

And, I'm sure I'll be expected to catch up with MANY friends. If you're cute and treat me like a queen you can tag along.

I'm such an awesome date.

Any takers???

My un-boring life...

2008-06-30T18:14:00.000-05:00

To be honest, my life has been anything BUT boring. In fact, some would say I've been having too much fun (and they are probably right). However, being the nice girl that you all think I am, I can't really post about un-boring stuff.

The "good" stuff that I can post about involves silly crap that no one really cares about.

Like, weather radios. I bought one. It's annoying as HELL. When there is a storm, it goes off every 2 fucking seconds. I'm sure it would be helpful in the middle of the night, but in the daytime I'm pretty aware that there is a goddamn storm, thank you very much. Of course, I wouldn't want to be without one, either.

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPPPPPPPP.... The National Weather Service has issued a blahbedy blah blah blah for the following counties (and they should really probably list the counties it doesn't affect, that would take far less time and energy).

So, my mom decided I needed a different weather radio. The fire stations were selling them for cheap, and Charlie Shortino (one of our local weather dudes) says this brand is the best.

I'll hook it up to humor her, but I can't imagine it's really any different than the one I bought. I'm cringing at the thought of programming it and hooking it up. I'm sure it's equally as annoying.

More "good" things involve my cat rescue organization. We recently bought a shelter for the feral cats (oxymoronic??). To save some money, we are doing much of the work ourselves. Yesterday I went to help out with some drywall sanding and painting on primer. Tough work for a soft sissy girl who sits at a desk all day. Hopefully it will make the kitties happy.

Lastly, I've started getting "The Sopranos" from Netflix. I never had HBO, and never watched an episode before.

I think I'm in love with Tony Soprano. He is just a mega-stud.

The "bad". Well, I'll just say that "bad" isn't really bad.

The "ugly". Well, I'll just say that if the cops come to my house one more time I'm gonna have to open a donut shop.

Dear Craigslist a-holes...

2008-06-23T17:43:00.000-05:00

Really?

Are you serious?

You (not the a-holes, but my blogging friends) may remember that I was considering taking over the position of Tame Cat Adoption Coordinator for the feral cat rescue organization I volunteer for. Well, I took it over.

One of my duties is to post on Craigslist about our weekly adoption fairs. Adoption fairs, for kittens and cats.

And, someone feels the need to flag these posts and have them removed.

WHAT THE FUCK????

Someone (craigslist a-holes) needs to get a flippin' life. I mean, really... you don't have anything better to do with your life than sit around flagging posts that are meant to get kittens and cats adopted?

Loooooooser!

Life... is... difficult.

2008-06-19T20:37:00.000-05:00

Ah, yes... I can recall the days when I had stuff to blog about, and would blog frequently. And I would visit blogs, and people would visit mine, and we'd all have a jolly old time!

Those were simpler times.

Times before... teenagers.

I love my kids more than anything (of course, one of them disagrees and is pretty sure I hate him and my sole purpose on this earth is to ruin his life... so in return he has told me to my face that he wants nothing more than to make me miserable) but my GOD they drain every last bit of energy, emotion, imagination right out of me.

Oh, and I've ruined his life.

And, he's miserable because of me.

Did I mention he's unhappy and depressed, and it's all my fault?

This has been going on for MONTHS. I used to feel guilty, but I'm over it.

I used to have to walk on eggshells before I moved out here (in fact, it's one of the reasons I moved), now it seems like I'm walking on them again. I'm not treading so lightly this time, but still....

Ok, I'm done venting. Sorry. Maybe my next post will be happier, but the summer is just starting.

BTW, my other teenager is being much more respectful to me and still likes me. I just need to point that out.

All is well...

2008-06-13T16:54:00.000-05:00

I changed back into decent clothes so no storms hit me directly.

Lots of awful flooding, but none affecting me (effecting? who knows, it's one of them, you know what the hell I'm saying).

Have a great weekend!!

Tornados

2008-06-12T18:51:00.000-05:00

There are major storms coming through my area right now.

I've just ensured that one will hit me directly, because I changed into my pajamas. Look for my redneck lookin' ass on the news describing the tornado that will hit.

Pizza seeds

2008-06-03T17:50:00.001-05:00

Umm, Chris? My pizza seeds grew just fine. I'll hook you up if you want.

Please

2008-06-02T19:43:00.000-05:00

Hey there Delilah, what's it like in New York City?

I hope it sucks so you will come back and this song can stop being played every 2 fucking minutes.

Things heard on the way to Michigan..

2008-05-28T19:13:00.000-05:00

*I need to preface this by saying that Cracker Jacks have the LAMEST fucking prizes of all time right now. I bought a 3 pack... my sons each got some retarded little booklet about history (one of them got a tiny booklet about Abraham Lincoln, and it had this page that "changed faces" or some shit... the other got the same thing, but with Susan B. Anthony)... and my box didn't even have a prize.

"Here's a history lesson for you...

I hate you."

*and the Chicago people, and anyone who's been through Chicago will understand this one...

"I'm going to punch Krazy Kaplan in the face!"

by the way, I found the Krazy Kaplan pic while doing a Google image search ala Chris (king of the image searches), and it actually was from one of his posts....

My trip...

2008-05-26T21:19:00.000-05:00

We had a very nice time in Michigan. And the traffic wasn't horrible either way!!

We arrived in Grand Rapids about 11:30 pm on Friday night. I always get lost right as I'm getting around all the exits I need to take to get to their house.

Oh... and the people I went to visit? My ex-in-laws. Crazy, right? Most people don't want to visit the in-laws they have, and here I am visiting my ex-in-laws. They are my kids' grandparents... and they are really awesome people. I'm very thankful to have them in my life, and now so close, and that we are still able to have a great relationship even though I am divorced from their son.

Speaking of which, he flew in from Texas (and boy are his arms tired), and saw my kids for the first time in 6 years. They've grown quite a bit since then (they are taller than him even!), so it was nice that he was able to do that. I still get along with him just fine, too.

I also met my nephew for the first time. He was born exactly a year ago.. and he was 3 months early. He had quite a rough start... but you'd never know it now (except he's a little small for his age). He's crawling and pulling himself up, and very cute and smart and good-natured!

Anyway... Friday night we were pretty pooped after our 6 hour drive, so we went to bed. Saturday we all drove up to Pentwater, Michigan where the in-laws have a trailer very close to Lake Michigan. It was a beautiful day, and we visited and sat in the sun and grilled and the boys drove the golf cart around... just a bunch of fun!

Sunday we left the trailer around noon to get home in time to clean up and have the boys and their grandpa go pick up their dad from the airport. Then more grilling and we all went to see Indiana Jones (trust me, you can wait for it to come out on DVD...)

Then this morning is when my sister-in law and nephew came over for some brunch, and later in the day more people showed up (aunts, uncles, grandmas) and we had some lunch and just more good visiting.

The boys and I left about 3:30, and I got lost leaving, but eventually figured it out. Traffic was just fine going back, too. So thanks for that, Chicago peeps!!

I'll have some funnier trip stories soon, but right now I'm exhausted.

Hope you all had weekends as great as mine!

Just thought you should know...

2008-05-22T22:08:00.000-05:00

Since I'm such an awesome blogger, and I post every day and stuff, I know you would all be worried if I didn't post this weekend.

I'm going away.

I'm driving to Grand Rapids, Michigan to visit family this weekend.

So all you Chicago peeps... make sure the traffic is flowing perfect for me tomorrow and Monday, kay???

I knew I could count on you!

The real reason...

2008-05-09T21:33:00.000-05:00

Wanna know the real reason I visit Grant Miller Media?

It's for the advertisements.

NOT yummy

2008-05-08T21:58:00.000-05:00

Something reminded me of this today.

I'm sure I'm not alone...

I used to spell swear words with my Alpha Bits, and then eat them really fast before my mom could see.

I had to do something to make this dry, tasteless, no-marshmallow-having cereal fun, ya know?

Joy

2008-05-01T18:30:00.000-05:00

Do you know what brings me joy more than anything else on this planet Earth?

Can you guess?

I bet you'll never guess.

Lint. More specifically other peoples lint.

When I'm washing clothes in the laundry room here at my apartment, and I open the dryer door to fling my wet clothes in there, and I see that someone didn't empty the lint trap.... there is no greater pleasure in my life than emptying it for them.

The soft, fluffy lint that came from some other persons clothes. Some strangers underwear. YES!!!!

Oh, wait...... nevermind. I just remember that that is one of the things I HATE most.

Important...

2008-04-29T19:38:00.000-05:00

These...

rock!

These...
suck!

Holy Axe!!

2008-04-27T17:38:00.000-05:00

I have teenage boys.

Anyone who enters my apartment would know that, at least for the brief seconds they remained living, since they would start dying soon after their first breath.

It's like some form of chemical warfare.

The Axe Effect.

You can't see the cloud of noxious fumes... but it's there. When you first smell it, you might think it's nice... and certainly better than the B.O. that is normally associated with teenage boys. But then your eyes start to water, and start to sort of melt.

The next symptom is burning nostrils. The Axe scent permeates every hair in your nose.

Soon your lungs actually start screaming in agony from the pollution.

Then most people start having seizures and a full meltdown like that dude in Raiders of the Lost Ark.

I've become immune to it.

Teenage boys are immune to it, too. And, they just don't seem to understand that less is more. That it's not sexy to be able to smell you from across the freakin' mall.

When will they learn? The entire population of teenage girls will be dead and melty before they stop the Axe devestation.

6 random things tag...

2008-04-24T17:48:00.000-05:00

I got tagged for the 6 random things tag thing by Micgar. I'm sure there are certain rules, but I break the rules. I hate tagging people (although I don't mind being tagged).

Anyway, onward to randomness!

1. It's raining today. One of the things I really love about rainy days is seeing worms. I know, it's weird, I have no idea why I like them. My mom even tells me that when I was in Kindergarten I would be late to school all the time because I would count the worms and play with them on the way.

2. There is a Culver's restaurant practically in my backyard. They change the specials on the sign outside everyday, and it cracks me UP! There are 3 lines, and the first line is usually an ice cream flavor, the second line is a dinner special, and the 3rd line varies... but I always like to read it all together so it sounds something like this... "Strawberry Shortcake BBQ Pork Iced Coffee". Fridays are the BEST when it involves fish!!!

3. I may have bitten off more than I can chew with the cat adoption fair. The current "Tame Cat Adoption Coordinator" is moving away, and I said I might be interested in the position. She said she was hoping I would be... yikes. Am I crazy??? Yes.

4. Tuesday night I made sloppy joes for dinner. They were yummy!

5. I don't know what I'm going to have for dinner tonight.

6. Sometimes I think I really am getting old, because my teenage kids irritate the living hell out of me*, I can hardly stand their music, and I'm constantly asking them to turn it down. And, if I hear my son Shane's ringtone one more time I might throw his phone into a puddle.

*but, of course I love them dearly

H3

2008-04-23T18:39:00.000-05:00

Hey H3 owners!

When I see an H3 do you know what I think?

I think that you not only must have a small penis, but also a small checkbook since you can't even buy a full size Hummer to make up for the small penis thing.

Complaints from a Fat Girl...

2008-04-22T17:56:00.001-05:00

Dear Lane Bryant-

I hate you and love you at the same time. It's fucking impossible for me to find pants that actually fit me anywhere else (apparently no one likes to make pants for short girls over a certain size...grrr). So, thanks for carrying my pant size.

And, I really feel special when you send me coupons in the mail!

But, then I walk into your store with my super-secret club coupon, and see signs up all over the damn place about a store-wide sale so I don't even need the goddamn coupon! Save a tree, people!

Then, the coupon is fucking worthless because of all the fine print. You can literally buy 1 certain top and a particular pair of earrings, and I'd have to buy 7 of these tops and 15 pairs of these earrings in order for the damn coupon to even be effective.

Oh... AND you have this retarded new way of sizing and measuring your jeans. I found a pair that fit GREAT, but saying they are a size "3" does not make me a size 3. I know full well I'm still a size __ (like I'm really gonna post that).

Anyway, I just wanted you to know that.

XOXO,

Amy (a valued customer)

Rodeo!!!

2008-04-21T18:40:00.000-05:00

Friday night I went to a rodeo with a friend of mine.

I'm no stranger to rodeos. The "Pikes Peak or Bust Rodeo" came to Colorado Springs every summer for a week. It started off with a big parade and pancake street breakfast... and a LOT of the businesses would have "rodeo week", where all the employees would dress up western (bank tellers, wait-staff, etc). I LOVED the rodeo. So I was very excited to go the other night!

It was "tough enough to wear pink" night. All the cowboys wore pink shirts to support breast cancer research. Maybe they looked a little gay, but there was still a lot of eye candy for me!!

Not only were there cute cowboys, but it was just a lot of fun. Complete with a crazy bull that decided to lay down, a bullrider getting knocked out (he was okay), and a bucking bronco that just refused (3 times!!!) to leave the gate!

The rodeo was part of the Midwestern Horse Fair that comes here every year I guess. My friend Angie's mom has some land and owns some horses, and they were scoping out some mustangs that were up for auction. They went home empty handed, though. While we were walking around the barns looking at horses, we saw some that were ENORMOUS. They really scared me. They were big, and midnight black, and had long black manes that hung in front of their face. My friends daughter said it reminded her of "The Grudge". I don't remember the name of the breed... I'm such a good blogger.

OOh! I just looked it up on Wikipedia. It's the Friesian horse.

SCARY.

2008-04-19T18:02:00.000-05:00

So, here I am back at Blogger. I hope you have all followed me.

I thought I would be able to use Wordpress differently than I can. You may remember that I would change things around here on Blogger... my background or whatever... and I can't do that on Wordpress.

Or, at least, aside from picking from the premade templates, I don't understand how to. And I don't really feel like taking the time and precious brain cells that it would require to figure it out.

But, I really like being creative with backgrounds and such. And, Wordpress wouldn't even let me adjust font size or style or anything... pffftt.

So, welcome back again. Don't hate me because I moved again.