RIP

At work today I got a small package of Teddy Grahams. Cinnamon Teddy Grahams.

Most of them were in tact and very scrumptious, and served their purpose for satisfying my snack attack.

But, I noticed these 3. These 3 poor little dismembered Cinnamon Teddy Grahams. I think there must have been a tiny little Cinnamon Teddy Graham minefield that they ran into somewhere.

And so, I put them out of their misery. They had a burial at mouth with full honors.

Dear guys on online dating sites...

If you don't know the difference between "hole" and "whole", just don't bother contacting me because you don't have a chance in hell.

Sincerely,

Amy

I need a spirit guide...

I was watching some movie about dog sled racing, like Iron Will or something. Iron Will had a Native American friend who pushed him and challenged him, and gave him nifty trinkets made from buffalo bones or something.

Lots of movies and tv shows have characters that have spirit guides. I want one of these. They could give me some necklace made of shells and a leather cord, and tell me things like my animal spirit guide is the tiger, or goose or something... they could help me find my way in this life.

He should also be part Tim Gunn. I love that dude.

Know what I really hate???

That the 10 key pad and the numbers on the phone aren't the same.

That sucks.

I dial wrong numbers all day long.

Someone evil came up with this plan... Bastard.


In other news, I TOTALLY want that keyboard in the picture that I found while searching for a pic for this post. It would make my work day waaaaayyy funner.

No real reason for this post

Except that the lady with the gold teeth is bothering me and is probably scaring people away from my blog.

So, here is a different picture of a St. Patricks Day chia pet thing. It's the best I could do.



By the way, I've added a linky thing to the side of my page to keep track of the "Where the hell is that card?" card. Or, at least let you know who has had it.

This is a real commercial

I was awake in the middle of the night one night, and saw this...



Just.... wow.

Question

What is the fascination, all of a sudden, with tiny burgers?

How the hell does this happen???

My job requires me to process medical insurance claims. On an almost daily basis I run across claims for things you just don't think could really happen... or are just plain hilarious. I know, I'm mean.

Today someone submitted a claim for "accidentally ingesting hearing aid batteries".

A. Why would you have hearing aid batteries near your mouth in the first place?

B. HOW would you "accidentally" ingest them? Did they jump out of your hearing aid and into your soup?

Random facts about me...

-It's currently 2:29 am on Friday morning, and I'm awake and blogging.

-I spoke with a woman in Maryland Thursday, and she was complaining because it was 31 degrees. I told her that was picnic weather, and it was about 60 degrees colder where I am, so put a fucking sock in it. (ok, maybe not the sock part)

-I should really clean my apartment.

-I wish I was sleeping right now.

-I haven't thrown up since New Years Eve.

-I'm having dinner at a friends house tonight. She has 3 kitty kats that are in love with me.

-That lame Garfield picture up there was the first one that came up when I image searched "sleep"

New Years Heave

I rang in 2009 by vomitting 2008 all up in my friends car long before midnight.

She still loves me for some reason.